Memoirs of A Mother's Love

So this is you, Brian, on the afternoon of February 3,1990. You came into this world 14 weeks early and weighing in at a whopping 4lbs 3oz at Womack Army Hospital when they weighed you. You measured a length of only 16 inches. A little tiny guy you were. So hmm what was on the radio that week? I was listening to the likes of Black Velvet, Love Will Lead You Back, Rhythm Nation, Escapade, All Or Nothing, some old tunes there :) The weather on this day was 75 degrees and sunny skies! Nice, beautiful day. Your grandparents, aunts and uncles were called to help welcome you to this world. While a happy day to see you, to meet you, to look in those eyes of yours, it was also a somber day, because no one knew what would happen, the doctors were so worried and not equipped to handle a baby with your needs, so scheduled a med vac to take you to Cape Fear Valley Hospital in Fayetteville to their NICU ward. We were able to only see you a few moments until you were taken away. I cried, I had no clue what was going on and wanted to go and be with you, they assured me the doctor's and nurse's would call me as soon as you were seen and settled in. Your father went, could not ride with you but met the helicopter at the hospital. I was taken to the ward and was told that I could not leave until the next day, I pitched a huge fit of wanting to leave, but had a temperature, they assured me if my temp went down I could leave.....needless to say I didn't stay, I asked to leave to go smoke, and they let me, and just detoured right out of the hospital to the parking lot to a taxi. No money, nothing but I promised him he would get paid at the hospital! I arrived to see you, your grandparents were there but your dad had left. I was taken in to see you and was confused with all the procedures that I had to go through to see you, all that had to be done to just get in to see you. It was sooo hard seeing you as you lay there, with tubes all over your tiny little body, and than to have the doctors telling me how grave all things looked, you had already lost weight, things were not looking good, as your lungs were never developed, but there were things they could do but to let me know that nothing was for sure or given. It was hard, I sat there and watched you, the machines beeping and going off I was so scared, no one ever could of told me about love at all and for me to understand until that moment, when I saw you laying there fighting for your life. I prayed and likely this was the first time in my life I truly prayed, Brian. I will say this it was a rough 3 months for you, up and down, it was an emotional time in my life as well but you got to come home right before Mother's Day, 3 months after you were born. You were known as the million dollar baby, but I had to believe in miracles, as you were my little miracle that made it in this fight and you WON!