Memoirs of A Mother’s Love

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Hi! So today I am going to start with just a little bit of history behind things with my first born son, Brian. I met Brian's dad through a large picnic that is basically a huge party that is put on at Fort Bragg, NC every year. I was there with friends and he was with his friends- love at first sight? Ha yeah right, this was lust at first sight! In fact funny enough we had a run in the year before at the same place, same picnic- but this year was different, he approached me, we talked and made plans to go out. We began dating and things happened just so fast, it was all a party life to be honest, and than one day he was leaving for the field and we both realized that I was late. Soo what do we do, we go and get a pregnancy test, we waited all day long, both actually pretty excited, it was weird. Scared and excited at the same time, talking about things in the future and what not, and the next morning woke up he had to be back at the base to leave with his company so we did the test first thing- umm yeah well not only did the little stick turn blue but the whole test turned blue- POSITIVE result. Wow talk about a rush, he had to be at base so we hurried and got him there, while driving he assured me he would be back, that he was not going to leave me, as unfortunately many a military man has done in the past to pregnant girls in this town. I was ok because deep down I always knew I was one that can and would take care of myself. So while he was gone, I was thinking alot and was like I don't want to stick him with this, we don't know one another that well, it would be best to just end things and go about our lives. Well that is not what happened, he returned from the field immediately came out to see me, lots of letters in hand that he had written to me and to our child, he wanted to be there for the both of us, do right by us and have a family. So long story short, we decided to stick this out, work things out together and get married! Just for all people out there that think marrying is the best way to handle an unexpected pregnancy- its NOT! We didn't know one another, there was so much that we were so different on- he wanted to do right, but yet wanted that party and bachelor life, I tried to move away from the relationship several times up until the day even that we were married. Time line: am at December 1989. Again soo soo many differences that we both didn't know about one another, you know those unhealthy type relationships that you just can't seem to get away from? Yeah well this one was classic. Here we were two very very young people, married to total strangers. I was 19 at this time and he was 22. Well I am not going to go into a long drama of me and him but just to say that this relationship ended very badly and was very abusive, unsettling and stressful. I was approximately 18 or so weeks pregnant when we got married, and moved back home to NC- he was still in the military and still wanting that party life, one of us had to grow up- which one did? Well of course :) me or did I? Yes I did. So things were hard, here we were married and had not a clue of the other person, well yes I cant say that, I knew what he was, as the abuse started early on. Now fast forwarding a bit to February 2,1990 where a fight with him lead me to be in labor.... at about 24-26 weeks pregnant! I will continue later :)

2 comments:

  1. Wow, yall did move fast huh? But, maybe it all happened for a reason that you dont know yet, or maybe that reason was your little miracle Brian. Not that hes so "little" anymore. But, you get what I mean. I hope. :)

    OH, and BTW, yes there is spell checkwhen you post, it says ABC on it and has a little check, then it will highlight spell errors in yellow. You just double click to correct.

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  2. Thanks for the spell check, because we ALL know how retarded I am when it comes to computers!

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